Talk about an amazing week! General Conference is always a little bittersweet for me. There is so much excitement leading up to it, then it passes, and then it is like, "Oh man, we have to wait another 6 months." But it was GREAT!!!!!! Every Conference I try to come up with 3-4 questions that I have pondered about but seem to have trouble finding the answer too. Well, it never fails that I ALWAYS get my answer as I listen to the Prophets, Seers and Revelators that lead this marvelous work.
Something that has been in the forefront in my mind in the last week is the responsibility of stewardship and the "mantle" that we carry with us in our selective proselyting area. We as missionaries have the ability to receive revelation to find those that are prepared to receive the gospel in our selective area. It is very overwhelming! I have stood in front of the map in our apartment many times and felt a heavy burden come over my shoulders as I look at all of the million and one areas we could search. It is a great realization to me that we cannot have success in this work, we cannot find the elect, unless we humble ourselves in mighty prayer and seek the Lord’s inspiration. And more than anything, we must have the confidence in the calling that we have that we are able to receive this revelation.
During conference I reflected a lot in the last year that I have been in Florida. Conference a year ago was my first weekend in the field. WOW!!! That is scary. I reflected on my time spent serving in St. Petersburg, and to be honest, I have been homesick, but not homesick for Seattle Washington, but homesick for my family in St. Pete.
I can think of so many times where I have literally felt like an instrument in the hands of the Lord in finding someone that is prepared. As I reflected on these moments, tears streamed down my face as I sat in the chapel listening to conference. I felt the dews of heaven pour out abundantly over me and I was filled with a joy that there are no words to describe. I thought, "Why am I so blessed? Why am I blessed to have this opportunity? How could I ever repay the Lord for the countless blessings he has given me?" Well, I never will be able to repay Him. We never will be able to. I feel my time is running short, but I feel like there is so much more to do. The two things that have brought me comfort as I have thought about going home is, the "mantle" and stewardship that we hold. It was a humbling realization that anyone can do this work, and that every missionary that will come after will do just the same thing. They will feel over whelmed and tired, but as they seek the Lord’s inspiration and will this work will not stop. That is what comforts my heart. I feel so happy right now. I never want to leave the "mission field" and I never will. It is so great!
The only thing that made this weekend better is that the AGGEIS beat YBU I mean BYU! ;-). Oh that is soooo amazing!!! I will definitely be living that one up here! Most of the office staff are Aggies so we make sure we let those "baby blue" Provo people know who is on top! This will be braggin’ rights for the next year! Woo hoo!